Photobucket
self-deniialblogspot


Prelude

Self-denial is a game
so strange i never would've
wanted till there was you.
cause i have learned that love is beyond
what human can imagine,
the more it clears the more i have to let you go.

since 29May'09

Lost Paradise


K R I S L Y N N
there's nothing wrong with my name.
If you think you know me, read my blog and think again.
I'm imperfect and I'm Lovin' It.
I'm the only witness and the only person who can judge my life.
This is my blog so Click here if you hate it.
Make no judgements where you have no compassion



♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥

♫ sweet 17 ^^

♫ music addicted

♫ star fantasy

♫ o6o3 '92

♫ 紫蓝 梦 !

HER FANTASY

♥EverLastiing Love♥



`普罗旺斯&薰衣草~!♥

`奥罗拉&流星雨~!♥

`FIREFLIES&STARS~!♥

`Be a Top Model ;D

`Clothes&moreCLOTHES :D

`More Money $$$ :D

`Get A for o'lvl chinese:D

`Beauty, Brains & Talent:D

`Learn My Japanese Well(:

`Be Happy EveryDay(:

`All de Tym in de World(:

`Get to see de 4seasons(:

`ICE-SKATING!^^


SWEETalk

Your wonderful comments. Mata Ashita.



Credits ©
Designer : PauLeNe
Brushes : PauLeNe
Image : KRISLYNN
Software : PauLeNe
Fonts: PauLeNe
Basecodes: PauLeNe
DO NOT DEFINE ME.
Photobucket


MusicPlaylist
Music Playlist at MixPod.com

Friday, April 25, 2008
hmm . kiiex . now recapiing some memoriies .
hmm . well . wed went to see doc .
boiiboii was thr to peii miie . thnx loads boii .
haha . when we took de number tiicket he say
go eat fiirst cos hav to waiit verii long .
he ate noodle n ii ate piizza pancake ! haha miiss it.
ehhx . sorry worhhx boii . diin guaii guaii listen to u.
ii noe ii shldnt eat tat larhhx but ii onlii left $1.50 lehhx .
no money lerhhx n ii dun wan u treat .
hmm . well .after tat went back to de cliiniic n we miissed
our turn den hav to take another number n waiit agn .
haiishhyo . haha . while waiitiing boiiboii fall aslp .
n he drool euu noe . haha . funny lehhx .
tiink he's too tiired lerhhx . realii sorry boii .
ask uu peii miie . but tell euu go home slp u dun wan .
iin de end go my cousiin hux slp like a piig . dots .

when its tym to wake up u still slp slp slp .
all my 3 cousins triied to wake u up , u still slp.
haha . aiiyo . realii piiggy siia . oiink oiink ^^p
after tat we went to buy de next day breakfast wiif
my cousiins . iif ii diin forget to briing my wallet ii
sure wun let u pay de lorhhx . nbm . next tym return eu .
haha . all de way ii kiip playiing wiif my cousiins behaviing
like a kiid .actualii beiing a kiid iis so good . dun hav any
troubles or worries at all . so cousiins ahhx . mux cheriish
ur chiildhood ohh . haha ^^D
after peii boiiboii waiit for bus den go home .
arnd 7plus my manager called .
den ii rmb tat ii actualii hav work tat day . oOops .
ii was late for 2hrs plus . oh my . realii so paiisehhx .
n ii work for arnd 4hrs den go home lerhhx . haha .

hmm . boii . thnx for telliing miie so many tiings tat day.
n thnx for de adviices too . ii tiink ii noe wat to do . thnx boii

Labels:


oh my god . my cough iis realii gettiing bad to worse lerhhx .
today cant do my exam well cos ii kiipp coughiing till my head
hurts so bad . sure ffail lerhhx . today was surpose to take 'o' lvl
chiinese paper one and 'n' lvl paper one derhhx but in de end
teacher say de 'n' lvl change date . make miie waste 2hr of waitiing .
haiishhx . n today work was not good too . at fiirst ii was still hyper
can shout here shout thr ( although still coughiing ) . but arnd evening
ii tiink ii caught a flu . sneeze here sneeze thr cough here cough thr .
make miie feel so terriible . worse still . ii acciidentali knock onto
smth sharp on my head . de latch thr got smth sharp n ii diin noe it
den jux knock onto it . haiishx . wat a bad day . so unlucky . haiishx .
but thr's some surpriise for miie today . catherine come to my work place
fiind feliiciia . at de same tym sydney was thr .. ii diin noe tat .
she was thr so long but ii diin noe until catherine comes .
oh my . its been so long tat we 3 models been together chattiing lerhx .
but de other 2 models iis not thr . feel so not right . next tym realii
mux fiind tym go out wiif them ^^
aniiwae . haviing a sliight fever too so manager say ii dun niid do de
closiing so ii jux waiit for them . feel so bad tat ii cant help out .
tmr sure help de . but duno ii got de energy mahhx . hav to wake up at
6plus to go for maths n geo remediial after tat go work till 1am miidnight.
haiishx .. ii dun niid slp lerhhx . now ordy 4plus iin de morniing .
bad juliie . chat wiif miie for so long . haha . nvm .. siince ii miiss euu so much .
haha . kiiex bahhx .. ii still left 2hrs . ii go rest awhile lerhhx .
god bless miie ii wun faiint tmr .. hhaha .. ^^

Labels:


why m ii so stupiid to realiise tiis now .
ii shld noe it earliier ! but ii guess iim realii too stupiid for words .
ever siince iim wiif hiim . my heart oways hav been
unknowiingly poiintiing towards euu . ii diin noe tat .
ii tot tat feeliing was jux normal towards a bro .
but eventuali ii found out iits not . not at all .
iim hav been a fool all de tym . how silly .
well . ii jux hav to blame myself for my stupility ^^
siince wat gone hav gone . iim jux hav to take it easy .
but ii niid tym . mayb it will take miie a few days .
a few mths ? . mayb even a few years ? . ah well .
it dun sounds like iim lettiing it go . more like iim waiitiing .
oh wateva . iim jux goiin to be a good liil siis now .
until one day . ii found ur ans or ii giiv up .
ahhhhx . iim makiing myself confuse lerhhx larhhx .
so wat m ii goiin to do now ? . waiit or let go .
arghx . iirriitatiing braiin cells . why so stupiid n slow derhhx .
ahh nvm . let nature take its place

Labels:


Monday, April 21, 2008
went to send julie off jux now . cudnt control my tears when ii see her . haiishx . ii realii do miiss her so . so much so much . ii dun wan her to go but she got to . before meetiing her ii sat at a bus stop for an hr plus . ii seems lyk waiitiing for twiin to end sch cos ii duno wat tym he end . ii oso seems lyk siittiing thr tiinkiing through all de tiings tat had happen . aniiwae . ii diin see twiin n ii hav to go off to aiirport lerhhx so was quite disappoiinted too . haha . wateva .

Labels:


its a brand new day when we woke up de next day . we both slept lyk a piig but ii slp longer den esther . haha . her mum bought mac for us . so sweet of her . haha . after breakfast we go down to salon . ii wana cut my friinge . too long lerhhx . haha . at de salon twiin called miie . ask tat wana go out wiif hiim n boiiboii mahhx so ii saiid ok cos ii diin see them for near a week lerhhx . but ii niidda peii darliinq buy haiirdye n help her dye her haiir black b4 meetiing them ^^ .
ii met them at dhoby ghaut n boiiboii was playiing para para . u was danciing well boii ^^ hahha .
after tat dey go play billard . haha . but ii duno hu wiin . haha . after tat boiiboii niidda go work ler n twiin gonna meet hiis godma . so we went to a place to smoke . iis dey smoke not miie ahhx . haha . boiiboii n twiin kipp makiing fun of miie n playiing triicks on miie . esp boiiboii . notti lehhx . hahha . but ii was haviing alot of fun wiif them . haha . boiiboii smoke for nearly an hr den we departed . so ii was played by hiim for an hr . arghx . haha . its was onli a few hrs wiif them but de few hrs can make up de sadness ii hav tat day . theiir presence was tat great . haha .

hmm .. whn ii rch darliinq hus iits onlii 6.30pm . we still got 3hrs plus to meet buddy to pass miie de storybook . so we chattiing for 2hrs plus . hhaah . we were so happiily chattiing n siingiing when esther saw ur blog . why diid euu wrote such tiing n make her sad agn . she was gettiing cheerful biit by biit lerhhx but why mux euu come n destroy her cheerfulness once agn . my heart realii hurts to see her lidat . cant euu jux leave her alone . euu saiid euu wuud . u saiid u wun contact her agn . but iin msn euu still chat vf her . uu noe tat she will be sad when she sees wat euu wrote iin ur blog . euu are so sly man . ii hate u . iif euu realii tat noble n ordy hav kiip ur promise n leave her alone lerhhx . she hav try not to tiink bout tiis kiind of tiings but eu kiip makiing her tiink of those sadness . euu oways went back ur words . u say euu wun follow us to de pub but u diid . u say euu will leave her alone but u still botheriing her . wat do u wan frm her ?! ii noe ii shldnt iinterfer but iim realii sad to see her lidat . ii feel so bad n guilty . ii realii m . ii realii dun wiish tiings to turn out tiis way .

iin some way or another ii noe iim oso at fault . pls tell miie wat ii diid wrong . if ii dun understand . pls explaiin to miie till ii understand . iim stubborn n childiish . ii niid ppl to be thr to correct miie n giiv miie adviice . tiis few days iim realii too stress up lerhhx n mayb wud be unreasonable but pls understand n pardon for my rudeness .

God bless . may all be well

Labels:


saturday was so bad . n it started wiif my siis concert . haiishhx . ii got xtra tiickets to go to de concert n so ii ask esther to go along as well as lynard n julie .lynard say dun wan n oso dun hav de money to go but julie can go so ii say no prob . after tat he ask tat got xtra tiicket can let dao cun go mahhx cos she wana go ii say ok cos ii jux nice hav 3 tiickets xtra n siince lynard not goiin of cos dao cun can go . budden after tat he say tat he wana go too n ask miie fiind another tiicket when he fiind out tat esther iis goiin . wth . ii say ii onlii got 3 tiiickets ahhx . iif lidat why ask dao cun iin de 1st place . iin de end dao cun dun wan go lerhhx n ii fiind out lata tat two of de tiickets iis seperated de . onlii 3 iis tgt but iin de 3 thr's ordy booked by miie n my siis fren lerhhx so onlii can let another person iin . so iin de end iin de end mii n esther n my siis fren went for de concert . n bcos of tiis concert lynard not happy vf miie . ok fiine . n de farewell outiing for julie is oso cancelled . twiin iis not goiin bcos of some urgent tiing n iim iirriitated by nigel . mii n esther hav totali no mood to go for de outiing lerhhx . we all tot tat everytiing iis cancelled n we all not meetiing at all .

esther n ii wana go sheng pub after de concert n so ii told sheng tat we be goiin later on . den sheng told nigel tat we be thr n tat nigel go n tell lynard . lynard at 1st was angry tat we diin iinform hiim tat we be goiin pub but he saiid tat he wun follow n let us go . he will meet us at esther place after we are done . but hu knows tat he was thr at de pub at 8plus waiitiing for us !!!
he LIED ! ii was so piissed off . n tat nite my sis pang seh miie . she herself say wan go pub de wan join miie de . budden suddenly pop up one fren vf her . ii tot she oso joiin us for pub so iim fiine vf it but iin de end she say she got gastric wana eat tiing . ok . my fren say tat de pub got sell food too . friied riice .etc . but she dun wan . euu noe wat she eat anot ? .. mac !! gastriic eat mac ahhx . ok fiine nvm . she say she will joiin miie after tat ii told her to be fast cos iim goiin hm verii soon lerhhx . but hell duno after wat tym she still vf her fren n dey at fiirst say dey cannot stay long oso hav to go home early but actions n words dey say diid not fit one bit ! iim so diisappoiinted vf my siis . bcos of my promises to her to go for de concert . ii quarrelled wiif lynard n nigel n miing lun . ii waiited for her . waiited n waiited . beiing left out iis wat ii get iin return . even before ii went home ii called her to ask her whr was she as iim worriied bout her goiin home alone n wana take cab to briing her home . but she say she walk home . frm tanjong pagar to paya lebar ? . siiao ahhx . ok fiine .. ii let her be . ii diin let her noe my motiive of calling her as thr wasnt any need at all . ii feel so stupiid .

kiiex . back to de pub tiingy . miie n esther was so shoocked n surpriise to see them thr . why are dey thr ? . we jux wana enjoy ourself alone n why cant dey leave us alone . den miing lun angry wiif miie oso . cos ii say ii will be back home soon as he niidda pass miie de storybook . he got de storybook frm my fren lerhhx .. iim so grateful to hiim but ii make hiim angry . sorry buddy . haiishhx . n ii cant stand juliie larhhx .. why mus euu come and tok to miie . ii was controlliing my emotiions euu noe ? . when euu come and tok to miie wif ur smooth talkiing euu totali make miie broke down agn . ii will miiss euu so much gal . ii dun wan euu go back to france julie . ii wan euu here . ii will realii miiss euu alot . pls dun go . sobbx . u oways make miie cry larhhx .. idiot gal . haha . aniiwae . thnx gal . for beiing thr for miie . after ii cry ii cool down lerhhx but head started to ache . haiishhx . after awhile miie n esther take cab go home lerhhx n esther was drank lerhhx . haiishx . ii wana be drank too but ii dun wiish to make a fool of myself agn . haiishhx .
at fiirst go concert happy happy de cos de concert was great n we enjoyed it alot but iin de end our mood end up lyk tiis . will thr be a day wiif no troubles ? . jux a day .

Labels:


everytiing goes wrong tiis few days . nth was smooth . iin de end iits was twiin n boiiboii can make miie laugh agn . thnx guys . eventhough ytd onlii beiing vf u two for a few hrs . iit make miie cheer up alot . luv u guys man . haiishhx . but all de troubles is still yet settled .

frii after sch went to work . ii was damn hyper . duno for wateva hell reason but was verii hyper n kiipp jumpiing here n thr goiin crazy . but whn de darkness fall . devil came n took my happiiness away .

de whole story started vf a book . a normal story book tat caused all de troubles between us.
`one day she brought a storybook to sch n ii borrowed it frm her . de storiies iinsiide was so niice n so deciided to borrow it frm her for a day . promiise her tat ii wud return her de nxt day . on tat day ii went to meet twiin at woodlands . sweetheart was at woodlands too so we met up. after tat sweetheart wana go pasiir riis de chalet . at de chalet she was bored n ii lent her de storybook. ii saiid tat she got to return miie on tat niite as ii niidda return to my fren . she saiid she wud . but iin de end she forgotten . ii triied lots of ways to get back de book but iits was so hard to fiind her or contact her . 3weeks passed n de book still vf her . jux whn on tat day she saiid she wud come n return she was send to hospital of low blood pressure . my fren was so angry wiif miie n saiid tat ii oways giiv excuses n lyiing to her . pls gal . iim not . ii triied my best to get back ler . not tat ii dun wana return . its jux tat my fren cudnt return miie . my heart realii break whn u saiid tat kiinds of tiings to miie . n bcos of tat book tiingy . u all dun wana lend miie notes n ii failed my tests cos ii dun understand one biit at all . ii hav help u all wriite notes take notes for u all but tiis iis wat ii get iin return jux bcos of tat book tiingy . tiis iis so unfaiir when iits not even my fault . mayb its my miistake to lend to my fren in de 1st place . haiishx .

so on frii when u quarrel wiif miie , ii totali broke down . ii hav control my emotions lerhhx but ii jux cudnt stop my tears frm falliinq . ii so shacked at work tat ii hav to get back my to myself agn . thnx buddy for helpiing miie to call my fren to get de book back . after awhile ii go crazy agn . n ii mean totali crazy . it was jux to get my stress out . haha . i cant giiv a sad face cos iim workiing but ii got to stress out so ii deciide to use my craziiness to stress out . hhaaha .
den at nite i took alot of flowers frm them n balloons too . haha .. wana bring iin to de cinema but dey dun allow . im jux lyk a small kiid whiinniing tat tym . haha . everyone was laughiing ^^ my manger treat us to movie after work mahhx .. den was crazy plus plus crazy lerhhx . haha .

note for esther darliinq :
sorry darliinq tat ii cant come early tat day cos de manager onlii can book two taxii n we hav to share cab . n dey all goiin for moviies so ii one way or other ii hav to join them too . hope ya understand . thnx gal n realii sorry to be so late tat day =x


Labels:


Tuesday, April 8, 2008
diin update for quite awhile .
no mood to wriite .
too manii tiings happen .
cant ii jux hav peace for even one day .
but iim quiite glad tat twiin accompany miie
de whole day ytd . thnx twiin .
well . ii got damn lot wana write but jux
dun hav de mood . mayb another day bahhx .
tata . sayonara

Labels:


Tuesday, April 1, 2008
whiich iis de truths n whiich iis de liies .
iin de end ii still believe hiim .
well . tiis will be de last chance lerhhx .
iif aniitiing liidat happen agn .
ii realii will broke down n tat will be de end .
ii will still giiv all my trust to hiim .
even iif iin de end ii will still end up gettiing hurt .
ii hav to trust hiim iif ii made de decisiion beiing wiif hiim.
so tiis iis my decision .
n ii realii hope tat ii realii wun regret it . GOD BLESS pls .

i love u

Labels:


haha . its damn long ii diin update lerhhx .
alot of tiings happen tiis week n iim totali gona collapse soon .
but thnx to darliing . sweet heart . meii n twiintwiin tat iim
feeliing so much beta now . haha .
ytd went to woodlands take my 77 street de member card .
2mths lerhhx den take . haha .
at thr ii meet twiintwiin for de 1st tym although we noe each other
for abt 3 years lerhhx . haha .
after tat meet da zhu daddy . thnx daddy for de two sausage.
yum yum . haha . after awhile daddy niid go hm lerhhx den
ii go mos burger study n do hmwk . so guaii riite . haha .
den arnd 8plus sweetheart n her m'sia cousiin
come fiind miie . n treat miie diinner .
thnx so much deariie . iim realii starviing . haha .
will treat u bac soon . haha . muackx .
after de meal . stiingRAY meet miie n return my CD .
den he go hm . dotx . haha . sweet heart n her cousiin
bring miie to yiishun eat 'dou hua'
so yummy lorhhx .. haha .. nxt tym mux buy for baby try .
den go sweet heart de hux take tiing .
after tat de cousiin go bac woodlands but sweet heart goiin
pasiir riis for chalet . den ii pei her go . but went to my hux put tiing
den take cab down to thr . duriing de trip to my hux happen alot of tiings
ii dun wiish to say n wana forget bout it .
we went to chalet arnd 1plus den come back arnd 4plus .
slept at 5 n woke up at 6 den go sch .
lazy update de last week events n ii dun wiish to rmb too .
iit have been a realii bad week for miie n ii niid tym to adjust .
untill now ii still cant beliieve tat al tiis tiings are happeniing riite now .
but ii now sad to say tat de feeliings are fadiing soon after ii heard
all de tiings ii shldnt noe . iits realii hurts my feeliing .
despiite of all wat ii diid for u . tiis iis wat ii get bac iin return .
ii nv expect to get bac aniitiing but ii oso nv expect tat wat
ii realii get bac iis all tiis . wat hav ii done wrong actuali .
ii noe iim stupiid n dumb n slow but ii dun tiink ii deserve all tiis .
iim tryiing all best to make u happy but wateva ii seem to do .
ya still unhappy wiif all . wat do u wan actuali . wat u wana miie to do .
im so desperate now . but ii noe ii shldnt do silly tiings jux bcos of u .
while ii noe thr will be ppl hu be verii sad n worry iif iim act lidat .
so dun worry guys . ii will not do silly tiings de .
n face all de reality n be brave to stand up agn . ii try my best .
ii will not wear a mask frm now on . iits tym for miie to take down my mask
n be my true self . n show my real feeliings . ii noe ii will do it n
ii MUST do iit too . all de best to miie . GOD BLESS . ^^

btw . happy April FOOLs Day

n iim a fool iin de end .


------------------------ o1.o4.o8 ♣ Tuesday ----------------------

Labels: